The Da Vinci Code

Starring: Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen, Paul Bettany

Directing: Ron Howard

My Rating: Prescription

Oh no, here we go. A movie that I really thought would be a fun run turns out to be a boring!

I've read the The Da Vinci Code. I've even watched some "why the novel is not real" shows. I've went to a Bible history exhibit. I like to consider myself quite educated on all this stuff. Unfortunately, this movie isn't for souls like me. It's made for the joe-six-packs out there who probably haven't read the novel. My brother stated after the film, "I felt like I was watching a really bad history show." I concur! The History Channel is much more interesting than this film. Here's what I disliked:

1. It's fiction. So it shouldn't be a crappy history lesson. Emphasis on the crappy because what they tell you about the past is not only inaccurate, it's very boring.

2. Most of the parts of the novel I liked, like the cool art history and the Vatican scenes, are eliminated from the film.

3. The screenwriters attempt to pander to the Catholic Church with a scene that is totally unnecessary to the film. "Hey, you out there in the audience! Do you know most members of the Opus Dei are married and lead normal lives?" Oh thanks for telling me that. I needed to know that so I didn't think the psycho Opus Dei albino represented the entire faith (sarcasm).

4. The story is hacked to bits. While Brown's book was far-fetched it still worked out. Try explaining how all the plot pieces actually work in the movie. They don't.

5. The only action scene is a 2-minute car chase. The movie is over 2 hours long.

6. The "puzzles" are few and far between. And you don't even get to see the Tom Hanks character, Robert Langdon, open the major last puzzle. Bummer!

7. The writers make Robert Langdon a skeptic in the film (in the book he's very pro-conspiracy). LAME! Again they pander to the Church. Why'd they bother? People protested the movie like crazy anyway.

Good things?
Acting. And of course the Ron Howard directorial style - he uses many of the same techniques he used in Beautiful Mind to flash back to olden times. Very cool stuff. The opening is great as well - it's unfortunate the film loses steam very quickly. There is also a memorable scene with Ian Mckellen's main character as he dissects Da Vinci's 'The Last Supper'. It was the only part of the film worth my admission price.

Now, I understand why people want to see the movie. I wanted to - I thought the critics were just panning it because of the controversial issues. Nope. It's a mediocre film. It will not stand the test of time and will begin to collect dust very quickly on DVDs shelves across the country. Read the book! While I don't think that is exactly literary reading I do believe it's at least memorable.

My recommendation: Wait for DVD for this film. There is no reason to see it on the big screen.